


The Destiel Christmas Songbook

by Cerdic519



Series: Name That Tune [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Christmas Carols, Cute Castiel, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff and Smut, Horny Castiel, M/M, Panty Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-08 04:56:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 2,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5484218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerdic519/pseuds/Cerdic519
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seventeen seasonal songs about our two favorite idjits. Featuring: O Little Town Of Lebanon * Silent Night * Dean's Dong Merrily Points High * Deck The Angel * The Thirteen Days Of Christmas * Good Dean Winchester * Angels From The Realms Of Chuck * O Come My Brave Hunter * An Angel Is A-Sleeping * Hark, The Herald Angels Groove * Jingle Bells (Dashing Through The State) * The Black Silk Panty Set * All Destiel Fans, Rejoice! * God Rest Ye Merry, Fandom * O Come O Come My Hunter Fair * Castiel, The Black-winged Angel * Go Tell It In The Roadhouse</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. O Little Town Of Lebanon

**Author's Note:**

> To the tune 'O Little Town of Bethlehem'.

O little town of Lebanon,  
How still we see thee lie!  
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep,  
The silent stars go by.  
Yet way off in the forest,  
A bunker warm and bright,  
A hunter and his angel,  
Are met in thee tonight.

Those years of shameless eye-fucking,  
Are fin'lly at an end.  
To the relief of poor Sammy,  
It drove him round the bend!  
He'd done his best to sort them,  
Hung mistl'toe everywhere.  
Then walked into the kitchen,  
And saw their asses bare!

How noisily, how noisily,  
The angel is undone.  
They prob'ly heard them in the town,  
As Dean his angel won.  
They surely heard Cas coming,  
As Dean thrust harder in,  
And Sam ran ever faster,  
To flee the rising din.

Unholy, deflower'd angel,  
Debauched and satisfied.  
They'd switched and fucked the live long night,  
(One time, Dean may have cried).  
The angels looking down on earth,  
Their blessings they did nod.  
Whilst pleased their bro was happy,  
They all thought, 'lucky sod!'


	2. Silent Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the tune of.... oh come on!

Silent night, holy night,  
All is calm, all is bright,  
Cas is sleeping, happiness found,  
Dean wrapped round him, safe and sound,  
Sleep in heavenly peace,  
Sleep in heavenly peace.

Silent night, holy night,  
Sam does smile at the sight,  
Angels sing o'er their brother so glad,  
That U.S.T. was driving them mad,  
Destiel is a thing,  
Destiel is a thing.

Silent night, holy night  
Shield of God, angel's light  
Righteous Man, so fair of face,  
With his angel, full of grace,  
Dean and Cas are one,  
Dean and Cas are one.


	3. Dean's Dong Merrily Points High

Dean's dong merrily points high,  
Its owner is a-moaning,  
Dean's dong reaches for the sky,  
Castiel his butt is owning.  
Gloria, Hosanna in excelsis!

Cas and Dean unite,  
The mir'cle that we prayed for,  
And all through last night,  
Our Dean was getting fucked raw.  
Gloria, Hosanna in excelsis!

Years of service loyal,  
The angel now is mated,  
So he'll dutifully toil,  
To ensure Dean is sated.  
Gloria, Hosanna in excelsis!

How the hunter he doth scream,  
As he gets his dick suckéd,  
We may truly truly deem  
That Dean Winchester's fuckéd!  
Gloria, Hosanna in excelsis!


	4. Deck The Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the tune Deck The Hall(s).

Deck the angel, Dean has such fun,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.  
Screams and yells, yes that's a home run!  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.  
Don them next their matching shirts plaid,  
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.  
Cas looks like he's just been well laid.  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the hunky angel naked,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.  
Better than a fresh pie, bakéd,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.  
Sinful sex, yet such a cutie,  
Fa la la, la la la, la la la la.  
Dean's got himself a real beauty,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Sam's a-bed, his door shut tightly,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.  
His brother's plowed day and nightly,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.   
Dean loves his sweet angel true,  
Fa la la, la la la, la la la la.   
When Cas wears those panties blue,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la.


	5. The Thirteen Days of Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And on the thirteenth day...

On the first day of Christmas,  
My angel gave to me,  
A chastity belt but no key.

On the second day of Christmas,  
My angel gave to me,  
Two spreader-bars,  
And a chastity belt but no key.

On the third day of Christmas,  
My angel gave to me,  
Three butt-plugs,  
Two spreader-bars,  
And a chastity belt but no key.

On the fourth day of Christmas,  
My angel gave to me,  
Four sexy thongs,  
Three butt-plugs,  
Two spreader-bars,  
And a chastity belt but no key.

On the fifth day of Christmas,  
My angel gave to me,  
Five gold cock-rings!  
Four sexy thongs,  
Three butt-plugs,  
Two spreader-bars,  
And a chastity belt but no key.

On the sixth day of Christmas,  
My angel gave to me,  
Six sweet vibrators,   
Five gold cock-rings!  
Four sexy thongs,  
Three butt-plugs,  
Two spreader-bars,  
And a chastity belt but no key.

On the seventh day of Christmas,  
My angel gave to me,  
Seven French maid outfits,  
Six sweet vibrators,   
Five gold cock-rings!  
Four sexy thongs,  
Three butt-plugs,  
Two spreader-bars,  
And a chastity belt but no key.

On the eighth day of Christmas,   
My angel gave to me,   
Eight leather harnesses,   
Seven French maid outfits,   
Six sweet vibrators,    
Five gold cock-rings!   
Four sexy thongs,   
Three butt-plugs,   
Two spreader-bars,   
And a chastity belt but no key.

On the ninth day of Christmas,   
My angel gave to me,   
Nine spanking paddles,   
Eight leather harnesses,   
Seven French maid outfits,   
Six sweet vibrators,    
Five gold cock-rings!   
Four sexy thongs,   
Three butt-plugs,   
Two spreader-bars,   
And a chastity belt but no key.

On the tenth day of Christmas,   
My angel gave to me,   
Ten pairs of panties,  
Nine spanking paddles,   
Eight leather harnesses,   
Seven French maid outfits,   
Six sweet vibrators,    
Five gold cock-rings!   
Four sexy thongs,   
Three butt-plugs,   
Two spreader-bars,   
And a chastity belt but no key.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,   
My angel gave to me,   
Eleven colored dildos,  
Ten pairs of panties,   
Nine spanking paddles,   
Eight leather harnesses,   
Seven French maid outfits,   
Six sweet vibrators,    
Five gold cock-rings!   
Four sexy thongs,   
Three butt-plugs,   
Two spreader-bars,   
And a chastity belt but no key.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,   
My angel gave to me,   
Twelve sets of handcuffs,  
Eleven colored dildos,   
Ten pairs of panties,   
Nine spanking paddles,   
Eight leather harnesses,   
Seven French maid outfits,   
Six sweet vibrators,    
Five gold cock-rings!   
Four sexy thongs,   
Three butt-plugs,   
Two spreader-bars,   
And a chastity belt but no key.

On the thirteenth day of Christmas,   
My angel gave to me,   
A blesséd day of rest!  
Amen!


	6. Good Dean Winchester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the tune Good King Wenceslas.

Good Dean Winchester looked out,  
On the feast of Stephen,  
When the Bunker was snowed in,  
Deep and crisp and even,  
Brightly shone the moon that night,  
Though the frost was cruel,  
Saw his angel bare-chested,  
Chopping winter fuel.

"What's that dork doing out there?  
He will end up freezing!”  
Out Dean dashed to see his mate,  
Coughing and a-sneezing.  
"Angel am I, you forget,  
I do not get cold, see.  
And now I can warm you up,  
In my arms I'll fold thee.”

Soon they were inside and safe,  
By a blazing fire,  
Warm and toasty, snug and close,  
“Cas, you take me higher.”  
“Dean, I love you more than life,  
That you surely know,  
But since you ask so nicely,  
To the bedroom we shall go!”


	7. Angels From The Realms Of Chuck

Angels from the realms of Chuck,  
Wing your flight o'er one who fell,  
Though he suffer'd such bad luck,  
See a tale that now ends well,  
Come and see,  
Come and see,  
See an angel all deflower'd!

Creatures of the regions nether,  
If to enter Earth you dare,  
Ye had better decide whether,  
Ye should cross this mated pair,  
Come and see,  
Come and see,  
See an angel all deflower'd!

Hunters, as you do your duty,  
Know that one of yours has just,  
Landed himself such a cutie,  
Sex with Cas? For Dean, a must!  
Come and see,  
Come and see,  
See an angel all deflower'd!

Saints before the altar bending,  
Watching long in hope and fear,  
A beginning or an ending?  
Dean and Cas, the future's here.  
Come and see,  
Come and see,  
See an angel all deflower'd!


	8. 28. O Come, My Brave Hunter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the tune O Come All Ye Faithful

O come, my brave hunter  
Oh, you can't, a cock-ring,  
So let's see if I can make you break it in twain.  
Come will you when I,  
Take you to the stars,  
O come, my perfect mate,  
O come, my perfect mate,  
O come, my perfect mate,  
Father, he's mine!

Roar your frustration,  
Make the walls here echo,  
Your poor brother has long fled into the town.  
Make me know, just how much you love this,  
O come, my perfect mate,  
O come, my perfect mate,  
O come, my perfect mate,  
Father, he's mine!

Hail, it is broken,  
And you are a-weeping,  
Yet, doth your soul say you are happy and glad.  
So, my brave hunter, now for Round Two!  
You came, my perfect mate,  
You came, my perfect mate,  
You came, my perfect mate,  
Father, he's mine!


	9. An Angel Is A-Resting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a change of pace, as this carol is a lot gentler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the tune Away In A Manger.

An angel is a-resting, in a motel room bare,  
The sweet little darling with impossible hair.  
His dressing-gown tatty, his face tired and drawn,  
Such a cute little baby, as he wakes with a yawn.

The hunter stands smiling, green eyes stare into blue,  
And his angel smiles back, at the Righteous Man true.  
Dean loves his own angel, it's perfect that he's here,  
Then he kisses him gently, and he holds him so near.

The day it is beginning, but these two, they remain,  
Safe and sound in their haven, far from anguish and pain.  
Deserve they this moment, many more like it too,  
For the love twixt these idjits, is so perfect and true.


	10. Hark, The Herald Angels Groove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To the tune Hark, The Herald Angels Sing.

Hark, the herald angels groove,  
Dean has fin'lly made a move,  
'Cross the room Cas he did see,  
Knew he was his O.T.P.  
Joyful, Dean's emotions loosed,  
Spec'lly when Cas his butt goosed,  
With th' angelic host sing true,  
Cas and Dean have done the do.  
Hark, the herald angels groove,  
Dean has fin'lly made a move.

Cas, who Dean did e'er adore,  
Such a cutie, sweet and pure,  
Till he stripped and, mama mia!,  
Pure and sweet? Goodbye and see ya!  
Horny angel, never sated,  
Now he's to a hunter mated,  
All those sexless æons done,  
Making up lost time is fun!  
Hark, the herald angels groove,  
Dean has fin'lly made a move.

Hail the fandom's great success,  
Hail the holy, scruffy mess,  
Black of wing and blue of eye,  
Faithful, gorgeous, and bakes pie!  
Though he looks a proper muddle,  
Such a guy, he lets Dean cuddle,  
Then he takes him in his wings,  
Sex on the ceiling, of all things!  
Hark, the herald angels groove,  
Dean has fin'lly made a move.


	11. Jingle Bells (Dashing Through The State)

Dashing through the state,  
In a Chevy sixty-sev'n,  
Dean races to his mate,  
That perfect ass is heav'n!  
Eyes so blue and clear,  
That dark unruly mop,  
And best of all in Dean's own mind,  
The angel likes to top.

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells,  
Jingle all the way.  
Oh, what fun to be ridden,  
By a well-hung angel, hey!  
Jingle bells, jingle bells,  
Jingle all the way.  
Even though Dean'll end up sore,  
And he won't sit down all day.

Now Dean in bed is found,  
And feels both love and fear,  
'Cause close he hears the sound,  
Of a jingle faint but clear.  
Cas wears those socks so cute,  
With bells around the top,  
And as he thrusts into his mate,  
They jingle and don't stop.

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells,  
Jingle all the way.  
Oh, what fun to be ridden,  
By a well-hung angel, hey!  
Jingle bells, jingle bells,  
Jingle all the way.  
Even though Dean'll end up sore,  
And he won't sit down all day.


	12. The Black Silk Panty Set

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the tune Walking In A Winter Wonderland

Cas he opens his peeps,  
Sound beside him Dean sleeps,  
The angel knows he,  
Is so happy to see,  
His man in a black silk panty set.

What a sight, what a cutie,  
Dainty lace round Dean's booty,  
A delicious sin,  
His hand reaches in,  
Right inside that black silk panty set.

'Cross the Bunker Sammy is a-cringing,  
One sight that he didn't need to see.  
Meanwhile, Dean is on pure pleasure binging,  
As Cas does jerk him off, and that makes three.

Not 'fore long, Dean is sated,  
Very thoroughly mated,  
A man through and through,  
So noble and true,  
Though he wears a black silk panty set.

All those limbs are a muddle,  
And yes Dean likes to cuddle,  
For just one sweet kiss,  
The little spoon is,  
Still wearing that black silk panty set.

Dean's a manly hunter all the daytime,  
Saving people, hunting morn till late,   
But even a hunter needs his playtime,  
And wearing softest silk makes him feel great!

He's still smiling come later,  
Sure that naught can be greater,  
Till Cas, face aglow,  
Says “Dean, it's my go,  
To try on that black silk panty set.”


	13. All Destiel Fans, Rejoice!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the tune Good Christian Men, Rejoice.

All Destiel fans, rejoice,  
With heart and soul and voice;  
Give ye heed to what we say:  
They did the dirty, hip hooray!  
A drunken Dean did make a pass,  
He reached out for that perfect ass.  
Cas and Dean are one, yay!  
Cas and Dean are one! 

All Destiel fans, rejoice,  
With heart and soul and voice;  
Now ye hear of endless bliss:  
And wow, that angel so can kiss!  
Dean spreads himself as far he can,  
And then he takes it like a man.  
No personal space, Cas,  
No personal spaaaace!

All Destiel fans, rejoice,  
With heart and soul and voice;  
Dean is safe for ever more,  
Even if his poor butt is sore!  
Now Cas again, he wants that rear!  
The hunter yelps in hope and fear,  
Just lay back and smile, Dean,  
Just lay back and smile!


	14. God Rest Ye Merry, Fandom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the tune God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen

God rest ye merry, fandom,  
Our Christmas tale is sped,  
About the noble hunter Dean,  
In jeans and plaid shirt red,  
And Cas, best of the wingéd dicks,  
Who now has him a-bed.  
O the tidings say Dean's getting laid,  
Dean's getting laid,  
O the tidings say Dean's getting laid!

From God our heavenly Father,  
The blue-eyed angel came;  
He stepped into that lonely barn  
And calléd Dean by his name;  
The hunter stared into those eyes,  
And so began the game.  
O the tidings say Dean's getting laid,  
Dean's getting laid,  
O the tidings say Dean's getting laid!

"We have work for you," said our Cas,  
“Heaven, it cannot wait.”  
The hunter knifed him in the chest,  
Now that was some first date,  
Yet from that day Dean Winchester,  
Was Castiel's one true mate.  
O the tidings say Dean's getting laid,  
Dean's getting laid,  
O the tidings say Dean's getting laid!

To AO3 sing praises,  
All destiel fans so true,  
Now these two jerks have surprised us,  
And fin'lly done the do.  
Dean loves his angel sweet and pure,  
(He loves those cuddles too!).  
O the tidings say Dean's getting laid,  
Dean's getting laid,  
O the tidings say Dean's getting laid!


	15. O Come, O Come, My Hunter Fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the tune O Come O Come Emmanuel

O come, O come, my hunter fair,  
And moan your pleasure as I fuck you there,  
Your body writhes, happy through and through,  
I watch you come and think, my dream come true.  
Rejoice! Rejoice! Dean Winchester is mine,  
The Righteous Man, and oh, an ass so fine!

O come again, as I work up thy rod,  
You screams are loud, as you cry out to God,  
From Purgat'ry I savéd you sure,  
I think that it is time you came once more.  
Rejoice! Rejoice! Dean Winchester is mine,  
The Righteous Man, and oh, an ass so fine!

O come ye thrice, as tears stream down thy face,  
Your soul is reaching deep into my grace,  
I thrust your legs e'en higher and then,  
The angle's perfect, yes, you come again.  
Rejoice! Rejoice! Dean Winchester is mine,  
The Righteous Man, and oh, an ass so fine!

O come a fourth time, thou I hold so dear,  
Your voice pleads stop, your soul begs more, I hear,  
For you are mine, a man saved from Hell,  
I hope your brother cannot hear you yell.  
Rejoice! Rejoice! Dean Winchester is mine,  
The Righteous Man, and oh, an ass so fine!

And now though liest, shaken to the core,  
I boldly went where no man's gone before,  
You gaze at me, your smile broad and true,  
And say those oh sweet words, “Cas, I love you!”!  
Rejoice! Rejoice! Dean Winchester is mine,  
The Righteous Man, and oh, an ass so fine!


	16. Castiel, The Black-winged Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the tune Rudolf The Red-Nosed Reindeer

Verse:  
Castiel, the black-winged angel,  
Had wings of the darkest night.  
And if you ever saw him,  
You would definit'ly take fright.  
All of the other angels,  
Used to laugh and call him names.  
They never let poor Castiel,  
Join in any angel games. 

Chorus:  
Then one foggy winter's eve,  
Dean Winchester said:  
"How I love those wings so great,   
Take me, make me your true mate!"   
Then all the angels loved him,  
As they shouted out with glee:  
"Castiel, the black-winged angel,  
You'll go down in history!" 

(Repeat Verse, no words)

Chorus:  
But our Cas, he turned and said,  
“Know ye gather'd here,  
The only thing I'll go down in,  
Is in my hunter's rear!"   
Then he returned to his mate,  
Stripped him bare and zip-de-dee!  
Castiel, the black-winged angel,  
Took Dean's gay virginity!


	17. Go Tell It In The Roadhouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the tune Go Tell It On The Mountain

Go tell it in the Roadhouse,  
All through the town and 'cross the state,  
Go tell it in the Roadhouse,  
That Cas and Dean are one!

When Dean he was just a hunter,  
He hunted night and day,  
Till God sent him an angel,  
And he showed Dean the way. 

Go tell it in the Roadhouse,  
All through the town and 'cross the state,  
Go tell it in the Roadhouse,  
That Cas and Dean are one!

Cas was God's mighty warrior,  
His job he would fulfill.  
But with that green-eyed hunter,  
He discovered free will.

Go tell it in the Roadhouse,  
All through the town and 'cross the state,  
Go tell it in the Roadhouse,  
That Cas and Dean are one!

Dean's love grew slow and sure,  
For his cute blue-eyed scruff,  
One day he snapped and kissed him,  
And then things did turn rough!

Go tell it in the Roadhouse,  
All through the town and 'cross the state,  
Go tell it in the Roadhouse,  
That Cas and Dean are one!

And now the two are married,  
The angel and his mate,  
They're at it ev'ry morning,  
And still at it come late!

Go tell it in the Roadhouse,  
All through the town and 'cross the state,  
Go tell it in the Roadhouse,  
That Cas and Dean are one!


End file.
